Thy Beslubbering, Motley-eyed Pignut

There. I feel better already.


If you spend anytime on social media, you’ll know what I mean.

Take this typical facebook exchange, for example, regarding a CBS news article in which Trump’s claims regarding the size of his electoral college win was fact-checked by a NBC news reporter, Peter Alexander.

First, here’s the video of Alexander and Trump, upon which the article was based:

And here’s the facebook exchange about it:

Stephen M:  Hillarious!!  Media falls for obvious troll once again!  Everyone in America knew this would be the leftist propaganda machine’s takeaway, and sure the fuck enough, here we are. Please keep ignoring the ineptitude of your fellow “journalists” repeating questions that were already asked.

Mauricio C:  So you are OK with the president LYING to your face.. Got it 😉

Stephen M: You wouldn’t know trolling if it bit you on the ass. Trump trolled all you liberals and sure as shit, your damn panties are in a wad.

Cayden R: So being caught in a lie equates to trolling now? Ok gotcha. #alternativefacts

Mauricio C: Oh yeah, he trolled us, liberals, conservatives and actually the whole country big time… And yet people are still cheering for his lying Russian puppet’s ass.

Stephen M: Liking Iran, Iraq, Yemen et al is fine, but Russia is verboten.
Gotcha chief. 😉

Daniel M: Stephen, you’re an idiot.

While I agree with Daniel M’s assessment of Stephen M,  I wonder about the usefulness of engaging with people like Stephen M at all, who resort to ad hominem attacks because they have no basis upon which to challenge facts and information.

If people like Marcelais must resort to mindless commentary in the absence of critical thinking, at least they should, I dunno, spruce it up a little.  The Shakespeare Insult Kit could be a step in that direction.

Alternatively, they could take a page out of JK Rowling’s book.  If you want to diss someone you think is an unmitigated imbecile, JK Rowling’s twitter exchange with Piers Morgan, regarding an heated exchange between Morgan and comedian Jeff Jefferies on Bill Maher’s Real Time, is a primer on exactly how it should be done:

Rowling:  Yes, watching Piers Morgan being told to fuck off on live tv is exactly as satisfying as I’d always  imagined.

Morgan:  This is why I’ve never read a single word of Harry Potter.

Rowling: Because you had a premination that the author would roar with laughter seeing you called out on your bullshit on live tv?

Morgan:  Everything I said was factual. [note:  it wasn’t.]  If you think screaming FUCK OFF! at me changes that, you’re mistaken.

Rowling: Would you like a couple of hours to mock up some pictures of refugees carrying explosives [note:  reference to Morgan’s firing] to substantiate you position?

Morgan: The superior, dismissive arrogance of rabid Remain/Clinton supporters like JK Rowling is, of course, precisely why both campaigns lost.

Rowling:  The fact-free, amoral, bigotry-apologism of celebrity toady Piers Morgan is, of course why it’s so delicious to see him told off.

And she didn’t leave it there.  The coup de grâce, Rowling style:

Rowling:  [after tweeting a glowing review of her as an author] Just been sent this!  Can the writer let me know who he is?  I’d like to thank him. [hashtag valentines]

Morgan didn’t take long to jump on it:

Morgan: Priceless #humblebrag BS. Nobody plays the celebrity game more abusively or ruthlessly than you, Ms ‘Intensely Private Billionaire’.

Rowling then posted the full article with the author’s name: Piers Morgan himself.

Rowling, 1; thy Joggerheaded Idle-headed Horn-beast, 0.


Vive La Liberté

Quebec And Canada Flags

“Make no mistake, this was a terrorist attack. It was an attack on our most intrinsic and cherished values as Canadians:  values of openness, diversity and freedom of religion.  Canadians will not be intimidated, we will not meet violence with more violence. We will meet fear and hatred with love and compassion. Always.”

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

Four. More. Years.

It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch 22

Well they’ve gone and done it.  Donald Trump is now POTUS while the vast majority of Americans–over three million over Trump–voted for Hillary Clinton.

To mark this day (not to celebrate it; important distinction here), I bring you the following.

God—or whatever entity you reach to— Bless America.


Fabulous Bitch


During the summer, I had a run-in with a lady at the pool.  She was a regular fixture there, hanging out with a friend. Over the course of a few weeks, I became friends with both women, although I liked the friend and didn’t have much use for the lady. The friend confided in me that she, too, had grown weary of the lady’s friendship.

The run-in was a minor event.  On this particular occasion, the lady made a childish, stupid joke that annoyed me and I commented accordingly.  I was persona non grata from that point on.  I was, according to the lady, a bitch.

The friend and I became friends, and eventually the lady gave her friend the heave-ho.  We breathed a sigh of relief; we were too old for such silly, school-yard shenanigans. For my new friend’s birthday this past month, I got her a great card.  On the cover was a photo of two dogs wearing sunglasses, soaking up the rays. Inside the card it read:

Let’s celebrate your birthday like the fabulous bitches we are. 

As any woman can attest, being called a bitch, even by another woman, is nothing new.  Sometimes a woman is called a bitch because she was nasty, but more often than not, she’s called a bitch simply because she’s not afraid to speak her mind.

I’ve had a million occasions in which my assertiveness, refusal to accept abuse, ability to call out crap when I see it, and general lack of patience with bullshit was rewarded with the “Bitch” moniker. I  wear that moniker like a badge of honour.

Sometimes you have to wear the hat and remind them who they’re dealing with.